You’ve heard the horror stories about bridezillas: They obsess over every detail, harass their wedding coordinators and terrorize their relatives on how exactly to look so as not to overshadow the bride. You’ve sworn never to become one, but you want your wedding to be perfect! You’ve been dreaming about it your whole life! Remember: Even the nicest girls can become a bridezilla if they’re not careful. Here’s how you can still get the wedding of your dreams and still have someone other than your husband love you after the wedding.
It’s Not Just About You
This may take a while to digest. Ready? The wedding is not just about you. It’s also about the man you’re marrying. Since it is as much as his day as it is yours, he should be involved from day one until the wedding banquet is over. Plan things together, do things together, and you’ll realize that not only do you have to be so iron-fisted over everything, things may be put in perspective and you’ll have an easier time planning the wedding.
If you claim that your fiancé is “not that into that,” then maybe you’re not giving him a chance. He may not know anything about the right combination of flowers, but he can give you input on food and wine. He can also give you advice on what looks good on you. He can also help out with figuring out finances and coordinating tasks. Try to guide him in areas he’s unfamiliar with. When you think about it, planning your wedding is one of the first tasks you’ll do with him as a team, and it will be really indicative of how your teamwork as a couple will be in the future.
Learn to Compromise
No one in this world is perfect (not even your fiancé), and because wedding coordinators, wedding caterers and florists are only human, the only conclusion is that the wedding will not be perfect. Keep your demands on minimum. Learn when to make a compromises. After all, married life is going to be full of compromises too.
When do you compromise and when to say no? For example, if your budget can’t afford the type of flowers you want, then switch to another type. That’s a compromise. If the florist delivers ugly and dying flowers, you say no. Try to get the best service possible, but do not force the impossible.
Compromising can also mean letting go on the little details, such as the shoes of your bridesmaids (they don’t match!) or the last-minute change in the buffet table arrangement (For more information regarding bridesmaid dresses, read The Four Simple Steps for bridesmaid dresses). Don’t micro-manage everything. Be gracious to people working with you on the wedding, be polite to them, be articulate on what you want, reward them as you should, and don’t bully them. They are people, not your minions.
Brides often become bridezillas because of the stress of planning a wedding. As mentioned earlier, you can get rid of stress by having your fiancé pitch in. Another way to avoid stress is to start planning a year earlier so you don’t have to do a crash course on everything.
Other people can pitch in too, but don’t let them dictate what your wedding should be. In-laws and parents want to help, but they usually come with their own ideas for the wedding. Stick to your own game plan, and don’t let them bring unnecessary stress. Just remind them that this you and your fiancé’s wedding, and doing it your way is what will make you happy. (Tips on how to manage your time)
Take Time Off
Make a conscious effort to spend time with friends, family and fiancé NOT talking about your wedding preparations. Talking about it won’t help, so why not spend time catching up with your loved ones instead. Remember, talking about wedding preparations is only exciting to the bride and groom, rarely to anyone else. Spend your bachelorette party not talking about the wedding, and simply chill!
Another way to take time off is to volunteer at a charitable institution, like a soup kitchen. This will help put things into perspective and remind you of the more meaningful things in life.
If all else fails, and you just don’t want a fancy-pants wedding, just elope. You can surprise friends and family (no nagging!), plus you don’t have to wear a restricting wedding gown. In the end, it’s the marriage that matters, not the day-long event of the wedding.